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Smackdown Live
“John Cena sucks!” Oh yes, it’s time to go to work. John Cena has arrived to make a plea and earn a match at WrestleMania. He describes that the only man who has a guaranteed match at WrestleMania is Shinsuke Nakamura. So what does he want? He wants to be included in the Fatal Five-way match at Fastlane. With an exclamation such as that, the only response would be, “here comes the MOOONNNNEEEY!” Shane McMahon enters the ring and addresses these requests. Shane informs John that this would put him directly in the WWE Championship match. John, responding to the crowd (“let’s go Cena, Cena sucks,”) responds that half of fans would want him to win that match and half would want him to lose. Shane points on that if John were to win at Fastlane, he would become a 17-time World Champion, beating Ric Flair’s record and making history. But Smackdown Live, being the land of opportunity is…cut off, by the entrance of our esteemed GM, Daniel Bryan (“YES!”) A hearty handshake between Shane and Daniel (that’s different than usual), and our match-maker GM delivers an opportunity for John Cena to make it to the Fatal Five-way – he must face a challenger at tonight’s main event and if he wins, he gets into the Fatal Five-way. His opponent? Well none other than his good friend, the face-that-runs-the-place, AJ Styles! And if we can remember their history (“beat up John Cena!”), it will be a very good match, indeed.
Coming back from break, Sami Zayn enters for singles action against Baron Corbin with Kevin Owens ring-side. The announcers recap beat-down Baron Corbin gave to Sami and Kevin last week. Scan the crowd as Baron Corbin walks in and the reaction is…stale. The crowd is still and silent. Cut to Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon backstage. Shane calls out Daniel for letting Kevin sit ring-side and provide commentary. Shane believes Kevin will get involved in the match, but Daniel reassures him that there is no reason that should happen. Impromtu chants of, “Rusev day,” occur mid-match and cut back to Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan, Shane snacking on some popcorn. Baron Corbin drops Sami Zayn on the announce table right in front of Kevin. Kevin comments that Baron is “inexperinced” and “needs to focus on his match.” Out of nowhere (no not Randy Orton), Dolph Ziggler delivers a superkick right to that back of Kevin Owens’ head. Off the distraction, Corbin catches Zayn and finishes the match with End of Days. But before Corbin can get too comfortable with his win, Ziggler comes in with the Zig Zag and takes him out. Crowd cheering sends Ziggler out.
Cut backstage again, Shane mentions to Daniel he should go, “check on his boys.” Daniel offers that maybe Shane should, and instead, Bryan is going home. Shane agrees with this plan, and they part. Kevin, Sami, and Shane meet backstage and mentions that Sami and Kevin should go “catch up with Daniel, because Brie doesn’t like when they’re all late for dinner.” I guess it’s safe to say, the “preferential treatment” is far from over.
Enter the Riott Squad and The A-Team (as I’d call them, because they were there first), Charlotte, Becky Lynch, and Naomi. Naomi in singles competition with Ruby Riott. Ruby Riott takes the win with a Riott Kick.
FINALLY, Fashion Files is back! With newest member, Josh Duhamel. Fandango and Breeze point out that they solve all their cases, unlike Josh, who is on a show called Unsolved. But the Fashion Police have solved that too, they found Big E (get it). Enter, The New Day. Big E drops some knowledge. Josh informs everyone that he’s not a real detective. Fandango and Breeze cannot believe it. They looked up to him, how dare he. Boy, I missed them.
Commercial – do you realize “The Festival of Friendship” was a year ago? Kevin Owens, you broke our hearts.
AWWWWW!!! New Day got some new track suits. I’m guessing “spritz me” will become a thing (hard to describe). The New Day is ready to face the Usos for the WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championships. Usos’ music drops, huge reaction, even The New Day is getting into it. Usos call out The New Day for having the same gimmick as them, “dancing, singing, wearing rainbow colors, looking like a box of Skittles,” and how that took them no where. The Usos have been here for 9 years, and will finally get their WrestleMania. Big E lets the Usos know that The New Day go after what they want, they don’t sit on the sidelines. They don’t have to get anything, “because of their daddy,” and they are going to take the Tag Team Titles. And then, The Bludgeon Brothers enter. The announcers can barely say anything at all to set the moment. The Usos and The New Day exit together as The Bludgeon Brothers stand in the ring, mallets in hand.
Shane is approached by Rusev and Aiden English backstage. Aiden speaks for them both when he says it’s not a, “happy Rusev day.” Shane announces that Aiden will face Shinsuke Nakamura tonight.
Dolph Ziggler cuts short promo backstage stating that he will main event WrestleMania.
Last week, Shane McMahon announced that Bobby Roode will face Randy Orton for the United States Championship at Fastlane. In a backstage interview with Renee Young, Bobby Roode considers why Randy Orton doesn’t like him. He theorizes that it must be because he ranked higher than him on the “Top Ten List.” Randy Orton enters and informs Bobby that it’s because the United States Championship is the only one he hasn’t gotten his hands on in 16 years. Back out to the ring.
Rusev and Aiden English are there, and Aiden serenades us with a song. Shinsuke Nakamura enters. Kinshasa to Aiden English, Shinsuke Nakamura wins. At the end of the match, John Cena enters, faces up to Shinsuke Nakamura and point to the WrestleMania sign hanging in the rafters. Shinsuke Nakamura does the same, and they go their separate ways.
AJ Styles enters for his match with John Cena. Periodically throughout the match, the cameras cut backstage to see the other men for the Fatal Five-way looking on to see who will win. Your typical AJ Styles/John Cena match, physical, lots of near falls. Styles almost gets counted out after being put through the announce table. A must win for John Cena, but Styles rolls him into the Calf Crusher. Will John Cena tap?! No, John Cena rolls out, AJ Styles up into the AA, pin, and John Cena wins. The Fastlane match becomes a Six-Pack Challenge. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn, Baron Corbin come out and start beating up John Cena and AJ Styles. Dolph Ziggler comes out to join in on the fun, and takes out Corbin and Zayn with a Super Kick. Standing in the ring with Cena and Styles, it appears Ziggler is trying to form an alliance. Ziggler then gets a hit on Styles, but before he can get to John Cena, Cena lifts him up into the AA and the show cuts.
